Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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