so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
