Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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