i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
