I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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