i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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