I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
