wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
