this is something i pride myself on being below average for
this will be a night to untag.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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