Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
