i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
