i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
