She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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