You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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