My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
