Dual....:-)
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
