I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
