SEEEEXXX PLEASE
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
