whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
