Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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