If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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