called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
