We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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