Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
