Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
