You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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