Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
