Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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