but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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