maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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