omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
