I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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