talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
