six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
