STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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