So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
