me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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