All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
