Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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