mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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