You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
