Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
