i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
