careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
