i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Shame - the story of my life.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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