how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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