I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
