theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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