My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm at about main and main street
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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