And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
