If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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