I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
