If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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