I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
