Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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