Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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