just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
