Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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