mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize