If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
