loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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