god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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