Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
