yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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