The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
