i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
