Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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